OK, I'm never promising a post again.... I said tomorrow, but it's all relative. Right? OK.... so what did I steal? I know you've been praying for my soul after my two sins I revealed last week....
1.) Stealing grocery store bag closures. ( Which are free.)
2.) Disobeying my mother. ( Which is never a good idea, she'll embarrass you. See previous post.)
I said I would never steal again, but I lied..... there's the third sin I'm admitting. I stole something just as embarrassing as the bag closures, if not more. "How could it be more embarrassing than the bag closures?" you ask.
Need I say more? It gets worse I stole it from the thrift store. Yes, it was marked 40 cents and a yellow tag that day... so it was 50% off. I can't recall my justification here.
Was the line too long to wait in to purchase my 20 cent item?
Could I not find 20 cents?
Was I embarrassed?
Was I mad they were SELLING toys you could get for FREE at McDonalds?
Or was I just feeling mischievous?
I know I had intentions of using it... I had 7 others clipped to my purse. I certainly needed an 8th. Each one had a different annoying thing it did, squeak, shake, close it's eyes, open it's mouth. If I had to guess what special talent this one possessed. I would guess it was the one where you pulled the tail and it shimmied across the table.
Anywho! I pulled off the tag clipped it on with my 7 others and walked out the door. I had my treasure! But at what cost?
That thrift store went out of business 5 years later and who could say it wasn't because of my 20 cent steal? They reopened last year, I think I owe them a visit, and an apology, and 20 cents, my mother would be proud.
I have stolen 2 things in this life, not including the gas incident. Honestly, I should be ashamed. No, not because of the normal reason involving morality, but because I stole two of the dumbest items ever on the planet.
Let's do the time warp... punches in 1990 and a few other buttons because I am sure there are more buttons to make this time machine work.... ummmm... ah.... click, type, click....Ah Ha! There we go.
We have arrived in 1990 at a Thriftway Grocery Store in the Cincinnati area. I spot a little girl and her mother walking into the produce section. Hey, That's me!!! Awwww I look so cute and innocent, but believe me people, this is where it gets ugly! I am spying the plastic bag clips and my mother is picking up some regular fruits and veggies. Wait... you might need a visual here.
Yes, this is all my little five year old heart desires. So I ask my mom if I can take a few with me. And she gave me at least three reasons why I couldn't. I don't understand. How is Barbie going to get backstage at the New Kids on The Block Concert without her pass. What? You don't see it?
See it now? Barbie would just slip that over her wrist and she could make it into the concert. I had to make the ultimate sacrifice for my dear friend Barbie! I would sneak just a few of these into my keds and walk out with them in my shoes. Great Plan! So, I pick a few out of the bowl and bend over like I am tying my non-existent shoestrings and slip them in the heel of the shoe. I walked around the Grocery Store with my great find in my shoe, we came to the checkout lane and I nearly broke a sweat. I was for sure the clerk would find my steal! I walked casually whistling, well probably not whistling, but I was smooth. I made it through the checkout line and out of the store. I was in the clear. When we got home I immediately took my find to Barbie and we went to the concert.
My mom came into the room mid-performance. Probably one of my personal favs "Hangin' Tough", and spotted the bag closures around Barbie's wrist. She yelled and took them back from me and swore we were taking them back to the store. I cried and she did make ME TAKE THEM BACK to the store manager. He probably thought my mom was crazy for bringing those back, because they are free and I could have taken the whole bowl and no one would have never known. But it's the principal, she wasn't going to let me get away with being a sneak and a thief.
And from then on, I never stole again.... well, almost....
To hear what other ridiculous thing I stole many years later check back tomorrow.
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See, you thought this was going to be about a Panda Bear.... Unfortunately, it's not. It was just me, spewing the first word I thought of (after "Random") onto the title bar.
So here's my randomness this week.
1.) Something that bothers me every year around this time is this.... I think I am a semi-ok to good artist and I can't carve pumpkins. I'VE NEVER CARVED A COOL PUMPKIN!!!! That makes me sad.
2.) I have the best video ever to load to this blog, but I don't know how to get it loaded myself, so it may never get done.
3.) Allison mentioned the other day, that I was always her sidekick for Halloween. I never noticed, but there may be some truth in it. One year I was the White Rabbit and Allison was my sidekick though.... you know.... the white rabbit's sidekick? Alice in Wonderland? Isn't that how it goes? The books all about the rabbit? Well maybe not. But this makes me think I must have been a pretty happy kid, because I don't remember being sad about it.
4.) Blogging gets harder when you get a life, but I like having a life. So my internet-blogging life may continue to suffer.
5.) Sometimes I put whiskers and a cat nose on my face and forget they are there. Then little kids come up and ask me "Why do you have that on you face?" and I think, "Damn kid! You've never seen a mole!?" and then I say something like "Because that's just the way my face is." and then I get out to the car and look in the mirror and see my cat face and realize that kid wasn't a jerk and now he's telling his mom that a lady at the park has a permanent cat face.
6.) I want to go trick-or-treating.... I love candy, but I think my neighbors will know I'm not a kid. Isn't that sad? No candy for me..... sad sad sad.
7.) I love you guys..... and for that reason I am determined to figure out my halloween video and post it VERY soon.
This is the first car I've ever driven........
When I was 10.
Ok, Why was I driving at 10 years old? A few reasons:
#1. I'm the middle child and I need attention.
#2. I was only going to move it back 10 feet.
#3. I was confident and it looked pretty easy.
#4. My mom was on the phone and I didn't want to wait.
So the story, my version at least, goes like this:
I wanted to play basketball and hone in on my mad skills, because I needed to practice so I could play in the NWBA. (Yes, I wanted to be a professional basketball player.) I asked my mom if she could move the car and she told me to wait because she was on the phone. I waited at least 15-1 minutes. Maybe it was closer to the 1 minute mark, she was taking a while on the phone.
I was good at getting attention when I wanted it. So I began to make remarks like.
"Mom, you're taking forever. I'm going to move it myself."
"Mom, where are your keys?"
"I found your keys! I'm gonna go move the car."
Then I walked outside and slammed the door behind me. I was sure she would be right behind me. I walked to the car and looked back at the door. She wasn't coming yet.
I got in the car and slammed the door and sat for a minute. Still no sign of Mom.
I put the keys in the engine and started it up. STILL NO MOM!
Well, I think I've seen this done about one thousand times. I can do it. So I put my foot on the brake... Wait.... this IS the brake right? Yeah this is definitely the brake. I slip the car into whatever, the R mode is, I let got of the brake and I start rolling forward. Wait a stinkin' minute... I wanted to move the car back... not forward. How do I stop this? What did I do wrong? As the car begins to scrape the side of the house I realize I am in the N mode not the R. So I slam the bar back to R and plan on moving it back to the original spot without Mom ever knowing. Well it was too late.....
Mom was behind the car at this point screaming at me to stop and get out of the car. I didn't know about rear view mirrors and stuff and am already backing up. My mom quickly jumps out of the way and continues trying to get my attention. I see her and put on the brakes she yells at me to get out of the car. I obey, as usual, I always follow the rules. See I'm a good kid. I got out and Mom returned the car to it's spot on the driveway. On the DRIVEWAY!?!? In front of the hoop?!?!
Wait, I don't get to play basketball?!? What? I have to go to my room? Now I'm never going to be a professional basketball player! Thanks Mom!
Hello all of you beautiful people! I have wonderful plans brewing for a blog series, called Home Movies featuring "Coily".... That's me, just in case you were wondering. I have a new site up and it is not done, but you should check it out! I love you guys and I think I will leave you with this. Allison used to call umbrellas.... "rainbrellas" How CUTE is that?
Noah got baptized yesterday morning and I think that kid really loves church, God, Jesus, and old priests. Or he loves life and just smiles all the time, but I like to think on his baptism day that was what he was happy about Jesus.
As the Godmother of Noah I was given a folded napkin-looking thing and the Godfather was given a candle. Honestly, I didn't know what either of these things were for. I was not raised Catholic and haven't been to an infant baptism in quite some time. First, Noah was prayed for and his parents and Godparents promised to be an example of Christ in Noah's life. He liked that.
Then we went to the alter and he was baptized in the holy water and the Priest talked to him. He liked that.
Then I figured out what the heck the cloth thing was, it was a baptismal garment to be placed over Noah's shoulders. I think he liked that too.
Then the Godfather lit a candle symbolizing the light of Christ in our lives. He liked that.
Then Grace, Noah's big sister, realized this thing wasn't all about her.
And she threw a temper tantrum.
But don't worry Noah probably liked that too.
After the ceremony we went back to Noah's house for a party ate some and watched some football.
The only thing I heard Noah complain about that day was this.
His Grandma and Great-Grandma wore the same outfit! Not really, but kinda. I didn't notice until he said something, but Noah I think you're right. "Total fashion faux pas." WHAT!?! He said it, NOT ME!!!! Don't look at me that way grandma...!! I'm just teasing you! Love you guys!
