Meet my baby sister, Allayna.
She is my goober.
I wasn't lying she is a goober... next example "Blue Steel"
Well, Anywho! At one of our recent Sunday Night Family Dinners she revealed one of her memories. She started speaking of a time she was choking... I didn't recall her ever choking... and it was on a piece of candy. This story was very interesting because I had never heard it from her before.
Then she said that our dad picked her up and hung her upside down to get her to stop choking. I laughed and I said this happened to you? She said "Yeah, at our house on Crestknoll!" (our childhood home) I laughed more and said "Really? This happened to you...?" she said "Yeah and dad shook me upside down from my ankles until I puked out the candy."
To which I replied, "and it was a yellow spree and when you puked it looked like a sunny-side up egg?"
"Yeah!"
"Allayna! That was not you! That was me!"
"No I swear it was me!"
"Allayna that happened to me and I wouldn't eat yellow sprees until I was 12 yrs old"
"NO, I DIDN'T EAT YELLOW SPREES!"
"Allayna, are you joking? This is my story that I have told 50 times."
"Really? No! I thought it was me.... I tell people that story all the time."
Oh man, I thought I had a bad memory! At least I don't have to steal other peoples memories and use them for my own! Allayna, I love you but I am diagnosing this as a case of vicarious memories. I'm going to start copyrighting all of my memories so you can't use them!
Ok but she's forgiven because she is cute.
Evidence of that is right here.
OK, I'm never promising a post again.... I said tomorrow, but it's all relative. Right? OK.... so what did I steal? I know you've been praying for my soul after my two sins I revealed last week....
1.) Stealing grocery store bag closures. ( Which are free.)
2.) Disobeying my mother. ( Which is never a good idea, she'll embarrass you. See previous post.)
I said I would never steal again, but I lied..... there's the third sin I'm admitting. I stole something just as embarrassing as the bag closures, if not more. "How could it be more embarrassing than the bag closures?" you ask.
Need I say more? It gets worse I stole it from the thrift store. Yes, it was marked 40 cents and a yellow tag that day... so it was 50% off. I can't recall my justification here.
Was the line too long to wait in to purchase my 20 cent item?
Could I not find 20 cents?
Was I embarrassed?
Was I mad they were SELLING toys you could get for FREE at McDonalds?
Or was I just feeling mischievous?
I know I had intentions of using it... I had 7 others clipped to my purse. I certainly needed an 8th. Each one had a different annoying thing it did, squeak, shake, close it's eyes, open it's mouth. If I had to guess what special talent this one possessed. I would guess it was the one where you pulled the tail and it shimmied across the table.
Anywho! I pulled off the tag clipped it on with my 7 others and walked out the door. I had my treasure! But at what cost?
That thrift store went out of business 5 years later and who could say it wasn't because of my 20 cent steal? They reopened last year, I think I owe them a visit, and an apology, and 20 cents, my mother would be proud.
I have stolen 2 things in this life, not including the gas incident. Honestly, I should be ashamed. No, not because of the normal reason involving morality, but because I stole two of the dumbest items ever on the planet.
Let's do the time warp... punches in 1990 and a few other buttons because I am sure there are more buttons to make this time machine work.... ummmm... ah.... click, type, click....Ah Ha! There we go.
We have arrived in 1990 at a Thriftway Grocery Store in the Cincinnati area. I spot a little girl and her mother walking into the produce section. Hey, That's me!!! Awwww I look so cute and innocent, but believe me people, this is where it gets ugly! I am spying the plastic bag clips and my mother is picking up some regular fruits and veggies. Wait... you might need a visual here.
Yes, this is all my little five year old heart desires. So I ask my mom if I can take a few with me. And she gave me at least three reasons why I couldn't. I don't understand. How is Barbie going to get backstage at the New Kids on The Block Concert without her pass. What? You don't see it?
See it now? Barbie would just slip that over her wrist and she could make it into the concert. I had to make the ultimate sacrifice for my dear friend Barbie! I would sneak just a few of these into my keds and walk out with them in my shoes. Great Plan! So, I pick a few out of the bowl and bend over like I am tying my non-existent shoestrings and slip them in the heel of the shoe. I walked around the Grocery Store with my great find in my shoe, we came to the checkout lane and I nearly broke a sweat. I was for sure the clerk would find my steal! I walked casually whistling, well probably not whistling, but I was smooth. I made it through the checkout line and out of the store. I was in the clear. When we got home I immediately took my find to Barbie and we went to the concert.
My mom came into the room mid-performance. Probably one of my personal favs "Hangin' Tough", and spotted the bag closures around Barbie's wrist. She yelled and took them back from me and swore we were taking them back to the store. I cried and she did make ME TAKE THEM BACK to the store manager. He probably thought my mom was crazy for bringing those back, because they are free and I could have taken the whole bowl and no one would have never known. But it's the principal, she wasn't going to let me get away with being a sneak and a thief.
And from then on, I never stole again.... well, almost....
To hear what other ridiculous thing I stole many years later check back tomorrow.
